Friday, September 19, 2008

My Hook

I'm working on a hook for my wannabenovel.

Let's see how this sounds:


A young man with super-human abilities sets out to convince the girl he loves to allow her blood to be used to cure him of the madness that periodically overtakes him. Conflicts arise when a sinister organization kidnaps the girl for their own purpose. Her uncle's hatred and prejudice hinders his ability to cooperate with the young man to rescue the girl.


I found it extremely difficult to leave out major details of the plot and reduce it to just a few words and I'm not quite happy with it.

On another topic:

I love the pictures so many people put into their blogs. I'll try my hand at inserting one.
It's of me and the Crooked Man at Oakland Fairyland.


Just_Me said...

That's a very passive hook. To Be verbs are really not your friend. Passive sounds distant and boring. You want your hook to grab people by their throats.

I'd try again.

GeekyQuill said...

I see what you mean. I'll work on it. It sounded to trite and I couldn't work out why.
Thanks so much for the input.