Thursday, February 26, 2009

A Homonym Walks Into A Bar


I miss the sound of a typewriter going BING at the end of every line.
Sorry, off topic-

This guy walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He rubs his head. "Who hung that bar there?"

Homonyms: words that sound alike but have different meanings

I posted a comment on an agent's blog this morning, then looked back at it and noticed I used "their" where I should have used "there." My fingers don't have ears, so I don't know why they typed it wrong. Well, now I look dumb. One day I'll send him a query letter and he'll delete it. "That's the lady who wrote 'their' instead of 'there.' Automatic rejection."

Tonight I'm getting a micro at my daughter's beauty school. That stands for microdermabrasion. My seven-year-olds keep hearing it as Mike Rowe. He's the host of the show "Dirty Jobs." Technically, that's not a homonym. It's a mondegreen. When I come home with all the skin on my face blasted off and no Dirty Jobs guy, they're going to be disappointed.

This just in- My 17 yr old used to think that the words to the Elton John song "Bennie and the Jets," were "She's got electric boobs" (instead of boots).

Anybody have a favorite homonym or mondegreen?


Lyrical Press said...

I always hear...put on my flip flops, stepped on a pop tart...when I listen to that Jimmy Buffet song.

Loved your post. Thanks for the laugh.

(And I almost typed "here" instead of "hear" - we all have our dumb moments, so don't worry. You're not alone.)

- Renee

karabu said...

When I was little, I thought that donuts would turn my brown eyes blue.

I agree with the girls - Mike Rowe sounds better.

randy said...

Hi Amanda,

I enjoyed your "Faith" post. I believe it's easy to live a happy life without a belief in a supreme being if one has the proper attitude. I think the problem stems from looking at life as a half-empty proposition. We dread that it must come to an end but isn't that like a lottery winner dwelling on the fact that he can't take his winnings with him into the next world instead of enjoying what he has today?

The odds of getting the opportunity to experience existence is no less than winning a lottery. That is what needs to be the focus. We are all lottery winners!!! The glass is half full and we should be thankful that is only half full for it is the empty half that gives the full half its proper value. Would you really want an endless life?

What is truly sad is people squandering the life they do have (I'm as guilty as anybody) and deluding themselves (in my opinion) with the consolation that they will somehow make up for the missed opportunity in the next life.

Another thing that is sad is I think too many people have lost touch with how to be happy. They don't know what makes them truly happy because they are bombarded with what is supposed to make them happy. I found, for instance, when I was on the top of my cabin putting on the final touches on the roof and I saw two bluebirds chasing each other, flying around and below me or, when I'm out picking blackberries by myself with not a sole in sight, or when I'm watching the cotton-tailed rabbits chasing each other on the lawn, that happiness comes dirt-cheap. How lucky am I that I got to see and feel those things. I could have been born a rock :-)

Sorry for rambling. Your post made me. Btw, can you send me your email address to gillettrandy at

randy said...

I tried to let it slide but I can't take it anymore. I wrote "sole" when I meant "soul". I, too, hate when that happens. I don't mind if people know how stupid I am but I'll be damned if I'm going to let them believe I'm stupider than I am.

Btw, in the interest of stoking the psychological fire, I don't believe in souls either.

The Geeky Quill said...

Randy, you're anything but stupid.
I know it deep in my sole soul.

randy said...

You don't think so! I meant to write philosophical where I wrote psychological. I keep stepping in deeper and deeper. What's that saying, "better to remain silent and be thought a fool...."? Those are wise words.