A Homonym Walks Into A Bar

Sound

I miss the sound of a typewriter going BING at the end of every line.
Sorry, off topic-

This guy walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He rubs his head. "Who hung that bar there?"

Homonyms: words that sound alike but have different meanings

I posted a comment on an agent's blog this morning, then looked back at it and noticed I used "their" where I should have used "there." My fingers don't have ears, so I don't know why they typed it wrong. Well, now I look dumb. One day I'll send him a query letter and he'll delete it. "That's the lady who wrote 'their' instead of 'there.' Automatic rejection."

Tonight I'm getting a micro at my daughter's beauty school. That stands for microdermabrasion. My seven-year-olds keep hearing it as Mike Rowe. He's the host of the show "Dirty Jobs." Technically, that's not a homonym. It's a mondegreen. When I come home with all the skin on my face blasted off and no Dirty Jobs guy, they're going to be disappointed.

This just in- My 17 yr old used to think that the words to the Elton John song "Bennie and the Jets," were "She's got electric boobs" (instead of boots).

Anybody have a favorite homonym or mondegreen?

A Writer's Life. Warning, not for the squeamish

My daughter said this little guy reminded her of me. :/
Okie dokie then.
Then I saw the video Struggling to Make it posted and I was reminded of the little writer at the keyboard.

Faith and A bike race blog

I was alone in church today (there was not mass at that time) saying prayers for my grandma who recently passed away, when I heard a swish-swish sound. I opened my eyes and there was a boy, rosary in hand, shuffling toward the alter on his knees. What an amazing outward sign of faith. I've sometimes felt I wanted to lay down right in front of the tabernacle. I don't. I worry about people looking at me askance. Maybe it comes from my teenager chiding me for kneeling or standing a split second before anyone else, or just a general deep-seated fear of people noticing I exist.

I think it was St. John of the Cross who said, it's not your business to worry about what others think of you, but what God thinks of you. I'm attempting to live by that motto. I think I can if I run away to the forest and become a hermit. I would have made a very happy hermit.

I've veered from the path I intended in this blog.

Faith- Deep enduring faith. In this ephemeral life we live, it's a huge comfort if you have it... unless you are among those who sadly avoid thinking of their own demise.

Blaise Pascal (mathematician, apologist, the dead French guy who ushered me back to the faith via a teacher's edition of a math text book) wrote:

"Nothing betrays more clearly an extreme weakness of intellect than not to recognise the unhappiness of a man without God."

I don't know about it being a weakness of intellect. It's sad, though.

He also wrote:

"There are only two kinds of person whom we can describe as reasonable: those who serve God with all their hearts because they have found him, and those who seek him with all their heart because they have not found him."

Sometimes I think I'm the first one, sometimes the second, and at times, neither -simply lukewarm. But, I've discovered that prayer is pretty darn neato at the lukewarm times. I got the idea to pray during those times from C.S. Lewis. (The Screwtape Letters is amazingly epiphanistic).

Sorry if this post seems disjointed. I got up several times to drive people places. It was going to be insightful- I know a big contrast to my last post. Oh well, I'm not a philosopher; I'm just a geeky mom.

And I am aware that epiphanistic isn't a real word.

Oh! And I put up some of the footage my husband and his brother took of the Tour of California bike race. They went up to Patterson Pass yesterday in the rain to watch. Here's a link to my YouTube page:

http://www.youtube.com/madelinemoody

*****************************************************************
Here's a random picture of one of the twins with a goat that I didn't realize was still in the camera until I uploaded the stuff from the Tour of CA.

The Geeky Escapism Quiz

The Geeky Escapism Quiz

In each segment give yourself 2 points if you can answer to the affirmative on the first question, 1 if you can answer yes to the second, but not the first, etc. (ie. Don't give yourself 3 if you can answer both- just take the 2 and be happy) Is that as clear as supernatural enchanted fog?

A.
2 Pointed ears are a great investment because they can be for an Elf or Vulcan costume.
1 Pointed ears are so cool!
0 W.T.F.?

B.
2 You named your child after a character from Star Trek, Dr. Who, or LotR.
1 You named your pet after one of the above.
0 What's LotR?

C.
2 You've used ten sided dice.
1 You've used a compass for recreational purposes. (Either kind)
0 How many kinds are there?

D. A dangerous creature jumps out at you.
2 You fire your phaser.
1 You pull out your sword or wand.
0 Dude, it's just a cat.

E.
2 You know what TARDIS stands for.
1 You know the name of Han Solo's spacecraft.
0 Wait, wasn't that Harrison Ford?

F.
2 You currently play role playing games.
1 You used to play role playing games.
0 Is that something kinky?

G.
2 You've read the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
1 You've seen the films.
0 They wrote books about that?

H.
2 Your favorite number is 42.
1 You want to visit Platform 9 3/4
0 You still think the number 69 is funny.

I.
2 You want a pet tribble.
1 You want a pet dragon.
0 Dragons aren't real, you moron, and what the heck's a tribble?

J.
2 Elves are beautiful and have a great love for music.
1 Elves cook and clean at Hogwarts.
0 You mean, like Santa's elves?

Bonus Question
2 You can name the hologram character in the Red Dwarf series.
1 You have the theme from Quantum Leap on your cell phone.
0 You're thinking of going back to the Han Solo question.

Now Score Yourself

20 or above: You win a genuine time machine.
16-19 : You win an all expense paid trip on the spacecraft of your choice.
12-15 : You win a free membership on http://www.fanfiction.net/
8-11 : The Great Gazoo will visit you in your dreams.
3-7 : Voldemort will visit you in your dreams.
Below 3: You obviously have a life outside of geeky escapism and therefore need nothing I have to offer. I chase you off with my +2 Saber.

Wasting Time

My blog's been neglected, but I got a nudge from my niece to post something, so here goes.

My daughter, (we'll call her N), left Blue Like Jazz (by Donald Miller) on the table next to me. I picked it up, but was forbidden from reading beyond her book mark. She's like that -very specific in her commands, but surprisingly vague about herself. For instance, she'll say, "You have to drive me to beauty school." I say, "When?" She answers, "I don't know." Then any length of time later (a few minutes, a couple of hours, the following day...) she suddenly says, "I have to go NOW. Come on, get in the car!"

Sorry, I've strayed from my original point. In this book Donald Miller writes ...(drat, I can't find the exact quote. N has this weird thing about not writing in books) anyway, it says something about the devil spending more energy on getting us to waste time rather than tempting us to do actual evil. I thought that was very poignant, very C.S.LewisScrewtapeLettersish. Sitting on my butt playing solitaire is a complete waste of time. I could be cleaning, praying, reading to the kids, writing my novel (Now some would say, and I won't give any names **my husband** that writing my novel was a waste of time. ).

But the point I'm unsuccessfully making is that if you suddenly realized this was your last moment alive, will you be glad you'd just spent the past four and a half minutes making Harry Potter icons for your LJ (ha ha, sorry N) or do you wish you'd made that phone call to the friend you've been neglecting, baked cookies with your little brother, or wrote a love note to your husband? ...just a thought.

p.s.
Of course, insert your own examples if you don't have a husband and if your little brother is 68... not that 68 year olds don't enjoy baking cookies. I'm just saying...never mind.

Zombies, Cats, and Writing

It's a very zombie day. You know, one of those days where you have to wear your zombie shirt? Lucky for me that I have one. (thanks to my niece, Jasmine.)

Do other people have as many scraps of paper as I do? I have sticky notes, old receipts, and tiny papers all over the house with page numbers, phone numbers, random quotes, words, recipes, lists... It's unending. Do you want examples? No, of course not, but I'll give you some. These just happen to be a few that are within reach.

"Her uncle suddenly looked thin and drawn."

"Combine 9 & 10"

"Tortilla chips for our Lady G. 350'"

"Pearlescent milky glow" (no idea what that's about)

"His eyes tore at her like claws -Bill" (No that's nothing naughty. He's a fellow writer with an amazing command of the language.)

and last but not least, and this one I think my daughter wrote- "True Story True"

Ok, and for our dear Mr. Grey who thinks I'm "somewhat illusive " I'll sign this post.

~Amanda The Zombie Queen ;)

motorcycles revisited

I'm thankful that so many people I've talked to (in cyberspace and in person) are concerned about our motorcycle safety. The insurance company isn't overly worried, apparently. They gave my husband a very cheap rate, taking into account his age, marriage status, and driving record. They weren't concerned about his one motorcycle accident because it was so very long ago. I wasn't around then. Well, I was around but not around him. I was probably no older than eight. (Yes we are that far apart in age.)



The insurance company was concerned that we understood that we aren't covered by damage occurring in nuclear blasts and the like. As if the first thing we'll think of after we're nuked would be, "Quick honey, call Geico. The paint on the motorcycle has burnt off."



I went on my first ride last weekend. Holy cow it was fun! I stupidly forgot to take pictures. If it isn't raining this weekend, I'll bring out the camera and we'll do a photo shoot. According to my husband, I looked sexy, but I sure felt like a space-man in my helmet. Maybe he was just being kind. Either that or he has a thing for aliens. Actually he does. Hmm.....



OK, whatever else I had to say has fallen out of my brain. That's what comes of interruptions. It was imperative that I suddenly build a two inch tall cardboard chair. I'm sure you understand.